Tag Archives: demand media

How to Clean Old Black-and-White Negatives — and Possibly Destroy Them

9 Mar

This article comes courtesy of a reader who writes:

Great site you’ve got here. I Googled “ehow has the worst articles” to see if anyone agreed and your site popped up. People need to know how shitty the articles on eHow are. You can damage things or hurt yourself, etc – like you said “nobody tries it before writing it”. Misinformation is worse than no information.

Anyway,

I found this article particularly disturbing: http://www.ehow.com/how_7435394_clean-old-black_and_white-negatives.html

She begins by telling you to wear cotton gloves to handle film negatives. Mind you negatives have _thin_ layers of gelatin on them (yes, gelatin like ‘Jell-O’), the slightest ‘bump’ can scratch a negative. She continues on saying to use a paintbrush to sweep the film. If that wasn’t bad enough, her last suggestion is using ACETONE. I nearly lost my mind when I saw that. Picture an exploding firey missile being shot through a piece of tissue paper… Acetone eats through plastic in a heartbeat!

Yes, these methods will clean film —- clean it right off the Earth!
I think I’ll now officially block eHow results from appearing on Google and add them to my hosts file. Enough’s enough.

See the archived version here when eHow reads this post and removes the article.

How to Prepare 2 Eggs and a Sausage

17 Aug

Imagine if you looked up information on “How to Plan a 6th Grade Graduation Breakfast” and you got this instead:

Sausage and eggs -- eHow style.

It’s been removed now, but you can see the Google cache here.

Or click the image below to see a screen cap.

 

 

 

 

How to Quit Your Job at eHow

16 Aug

This one was actually up for a few hours.  Sadly Demand Media deleted it pretty fast. Guess they still read this blog. Check out the last paragraph.

 

 

Behind the Scenes: How eHow Works — or Doesn’t

15 Aug

Someone just sent me this lovely screen cap that gives you a good idea of why eHow’s content is so shitty. The image is from an editor’s work desk where he’s just published an article. Click on it to take a look — it’s beautiful. The submitter also included a note. Here it is in part:

Basically I figured i was going to get fired abut a month ago from bad performance reviews so I started publishing pretty much anything. Sometimes i sent rewrites using the boilerplates just to Recently I started adding photos that I thought improved the content and links to ur blog. A writer reported me, so I should be fired soon, but it was a good run while is lassted.

How to Make Money in a Trailer Park

21 Apr

Sometimes when I watch the brainless money-making schemed employed by Ricky, Julian and Bubbles on Trailer Park boys, I think, “this is prime eHow material right here.”

Apparently I am right.

The sum of the article is this, open up an illegal liquor and cigarette shop out of your trailer.

Many people in trailer parks smoke cigarettes and drink beer. You can profit from this by having a supply of beer and cigarettes available for weekends especially sundays when football is on T.V. Many will not run out to pick up these items but will not mind paying more for them when convienant. Put the word out to the neighbors and let then know you keep beer and cigarettes for resale.

"Living in a trailer park has its advantages, you have access to many homes and people whom all are potential profit centers."

How to Make Money in a Trailer Park | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5679983_make-money-trailer-park.html#ixzz1KAWRuRAV

Welcome Jordan Decker!

12 Apr

Jordan Decker

We all know that DMS likes to read this blog. I Assume they look at us as providing free quality control.

Recently, one of Demand’s new employees started reading our blog. I just wanted to welcome Jordan Decker to the Worst of eHow and Demand Media. Jordan joined DMS back in February as Associate Community Support Manager and has been following us for about two weeks now.

Jordan graduated from UCLA with a BA in study of religion and a minor in LGBT studies in 2008. He was a member of the Delta Lambda Phi fraternity and he continues to serve on the national board of directors. Jordan is originally from Cupertino California and currently resides in Encino.  He enjoys “night drive paparazzo” photography (you can see his work here) and lolcats.

How to Learn Chinese

21 Mar

Sigh… I mean, I know that all eHow articles are pretty shitty, but usually that’s because the titles are crap. Here’s an example of an article that could be potentially useful and what do I get? Advice on learning Chinese like “watch Chinese movies”.

This article includes five completely incongruent steps.

Step 1: Move to China.

Step 2: Get an apartment in Chinatown.

Seriously, WTF?

But don’t worry, this step by step guide might seem too simple, but the author has categorized the difficulty level as “easy”.

Watch Rush Hour 3 and you'll pretty much be fluent in Mandarin.

How to Learn Chinese | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2154109_learn-chinese.html#ixzz1HBlmQruW

How to Recognize a Gay Bar

15 Mar

If you are incredibly obtuse or maybe just a little backward this article may be for you.

Perhaps I’m just used to living in big cities with progressive populations, but to my mind identifying a gay bar is about as easy as recognizing a Chinese restaurant.  If I’m wrong, you may benefit from knowing that “Many bars that don’t advertise themselves as gay will let the public know of their true orientation with a well-thought-out name.” Yes, if the bar is called The Tool Box, The Manhole or The Cockpit, it probably a gay bar (or a carpenters’, sewer workers’ or pilots’ bar respectively).

If you’re still uncertain, just ask a patron. Indeed, if you’re ever in an unfamiliar bar and you’re not sure just pull up a seat beside a stranger, look into his eyes and casual ask, “excuse me sir, would this perchance be a homosexual establishment?” Surely nothing bad could result from that.

"Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place. I know. This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap ladies!"

How to Recognize a Gay Bar | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2188642_recognize-gay-bar.html#ixzz1GiCVSBly

Homemade Weed Vaporizer

13 Mar

I imagine that there are a lot of really disappointed stoners trying to figure out what the fuck this article is about. A weed vaporizer is — as a simple Google search will tell you — a device for smoking pot. This eHow “author” has managed to come up with some ridiculous article about a vinegar concoction that will vaporize your garden weeds.

This reminds me of the time Otto visits Stoner’s Pot Palace on The Simpsons. Flagrant false advertising.

"Man, that is flagrant false advertising!"

Homemade Weed Vaporizer | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_6605804_homemade-weed-vaporizer.html#ixzz1GR30nZGM

How to Unlock Locks

27 Feb

Where does the key go?

If I Google “how to unlock locks” I’m probably interested in something to do with lock picking or locksmithing. Unfortunately for me, if I stumble on this link, eHow doesn’t have much in the way of skilled writers who might know something about locksmithing. The result is that I get a piece of garbage article that explains that I need a key to unlock a lock (which, admittedly, is pretty good advice if I am visiting from Mars).

What I like about this article is that the writer has some balls and basically gives a big fuck you to his employer by writing a sarcastic piece that points out the stupidity of eHow and then takes his $15 pay.

Here’s my favorite part:

“When faced with a locked door, your choices are many, but only two are generally permitted. If the locked door leads into a building or a space within a building, knock on the door and request entry. If knocking on the door proves fruitless and fails to provide you with access to the space, your socially-acceptable choices become more limited. You must obtain, through proper channels, a key to the space.”

Solid gold!

If you want to know how to open a combination lock, there’s probably a separate eHow article for that.

Read more: How to Unlock Locks | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_6534151_unlock-locks.html#ixzz1F6zDw528

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